Archive for May, 2005

Thank you sir, may I have another?

Monday, May 23rd, 2005

Unrepentant plagiarist that I am, the topic today is rugrats’ resilience despite lethally poor judgment on the part of their parental units. I’m… inspired, yeah that’s the word, by Jamie Dawn’s survival account. I hear (both of) you cry, “Where are the pictures? One cannot compete with CrazyAuntPurl without PICTURES!” Okay. OKAY. Git’cher abused-chillens fotos […]

Save us from ourselves!

Sunday, May 22nd, 2005

In the middle of a Nor’easter recently, Jef got off work to find that he’d left his car lights on. Hmm. And because his car key was several years old–senility, in keyland–it refused to open the door. Or the other door. Or the trunk. All windows were rolled up tight; it was the second day […]

TTMYGHmm

Friday, May 20th, 2005

Today a main course of bile, followed by a sampling of trifles from René Dessertcart (“Je mange, donc je suis”). Ah are edumacated “I did it. I graduated from college. Well I walked anyway. I technically won’t graduate till August because I failed one class….I am really proud of my self.” No, dammit, you DIDN’T […]

The final mix

Tuesday, May 17th, 2005

Note: Because my 500-pound Shitbird feeds on jealousy, I have purposely eschewed reading my favorite blogs this month.  While the Shitbird has lost a couple of ounces, I’ve lost nearly my own weight in potential mirth, so tonight I’ve been trying to catch up. One of the worst ramifications of this failed Shitbird-starvation attempt is […]

Acid reflex disease

Monday, May 16th, 2005

I apologize for the radio-silence of late.  I got caught up in examining the sources of my sarcasm, the cause of my causticity, the roots of my rancor.  I didn’t want the blog to be all nastiness all the time, yet there’s just so much bloated, fermented nonsense out there IRL needing to be lanced…. I find […]